"Tuesday" Finalist for Mississippi Review Poetry Prize

Tuesday

I wore a thumb bruise necklace

            around my throat     until

                        it dulled yellow                                                 

disappeared

my brown bell-bottom corduroys and the pink Tuesdayundies I’d bought 

at JC Penneywith my babysitting money—

After—everyTuesday  

plain   white       cotton 

remember  Tuesday  

embroidered 

green     on       pink 

polyester  torn  thrown to the car floor

of the white Chevy

hood ripped 

off     engine painted

blood red    to    lure 

a girl 

scout like me

a girl 

scout squeezing

her brakes gliding     her bike to rest

asking

do you need help?

            I don’t remember

his voice 

as if he were drowning 

            blub        blub   blub  

            I do remember/the gun/extended/finger  palm/wrist flicking

They tell me it happens/fast

no 

            me

                        so                     

                                    slow    

bike rolling into long grass

front wheel ro ta ting 

                                    so     so  slow

            I do remember

thwack     thwack         thwack

from the tennis club down the hill 

my mother 

playing 

with her usual 

foursome

mom smacking 

her serve 

racing the net                         

            as his gun 

                     steered   me       into the car

glub glub glub kill you glub don’t cry

out the window

             wooded winding road gives   way  

bridge     tunnel             traffic

bus Big Mac & a Coke for 99¢

we drive into the city maybe my father in his car maybe on the way to lunch maybe listening to the radio maybe he will see me maybe in his car dad will listen to the news Nixon maybe he is singing off key walk on bymaybe taps his fingers on the dash maybe a police    maybe     an officer      maybe       if I open this window I will

scream    maybe  

we’ve gone beyond 

the city  somewhere south

ice cream color houses

the road carved through meadow

                        Chevy heaving up and down the ruts

under 

 a maple tree  he slows   to a       stop   stop    stop

white broken-down-house-paint-peeling-beyond

now I see

nothing

he says blub blub blub blub

I whisper just a girl just a girl just a girl just a girl only a girl a girl just a girl a girl

brown corduroys slip narrow hips

blue/white striped t-shirt pulled up over

leaving

white cotton undershirt with a little bow at the v

leaving

long legs skinny all bones 

                                                joints

                        sinew that 

held me               together

held me      that day

as the man held                                a gun 

to my head 

                        held

my body 

                                                hard under his

held 

my thin                   throat in his 

hand

 in time  in time    I muscled away 

from his hand       

away 

            from my own sweet scent 

girl